Fifty Shades of Clara: A Collaborative
Screenplay by the English Society
SCENE I
(By Sam)
INT. CLARA'S LIVING ROOM - MORNING
A dimly lit room, pleasantly tidy, is on view, as CLARA is about to leave the house but drops the glass statue while taking her files from the shelf. The sound alarms PATRICK, in the kitchen and he rushes in the room.
With rolled up sleeves and tucked out shirt, PATRICK doesn't look like someone to expect in a kitchen, a business meeting room is more his scene.
PATRICK
Was that my trophy?!
Dressed in her lab coat, high heels and dark pink hair, CLARA is someone no one could figure out about, unless she explained.
CLARA
I'm terribly sorry Pat, I just...
CLARA kneels down to pick it up, but remembers she's in a dire hurry.
CLARA
I'm sorry, it's really pathetic of me but you have
to excuse me. I have to leave now... Pat!
Patrick are you listening?
PATRICK is quiet and glaring at the broken reminiscent of his prized glass trophy he won last year kayaking.
PATRICK
You... are... not... moving an inch!
The cold and repressed voice stuns CLARA completely and she is no longer in the normal world.
FADE TO:
Daydream sequence - CLARA, bleeding, imagines PATRICK yelling and crying at her.
PATRICK
Are you demented woman! I wonder what your life would be like as
a burlesque queen? Would you prefer it? Of course you would.
Your whole bloodline is toxicated by the very impurities of such obscenitites!
FADE IN:
CLARA
Pat... I...
Pat... I...
CLARA's phone rings in a unique tone, a personalised one.
PATRICK
(Calmly) Pick it up...
CLARA (VO)
Why is Pat speaking in such a sweet way suddenly?
This has never happen before! Is he...
PATRICK
Pick it up please! And... on loudspeaker.
CLARA follows, it was on. Another day in a grotesque misery has started and is not ending soon.
PHONE
Let's leave the theatrics for the day Patty. I need Clara soon and
it'll be beter for all of us if you'd pipe down your prissy ego for
the time being. After all, we wouldn't want any of our secrets
out, would we? Patients, money... pharmaceuticals.
The stranger on the PHONE speaks in an extremely sarcastic and evil tone. Leaving both CLARA and PATRICK petrified. The person speaks on.
PHONE
Sorry I'm in a hurry, guv'nor. Cheeky-me-up-ya later?
Patrick, sweating profoundly.
PATRICK
You should go, I'll clean up...
...
Oh! And I might be late tonight.
Have a good day.
CLARA doesn't understand much of what's going on. Neither does she have enough time to think.
CLARA
See you soon, love.
Exit CLARA.
CUT TO:
SCENE II
(By Joe, Kimberley and Subha)
EXT. STREET - AFTERNOON
A rainy city street, dimly lit, flickering street lamps, the distant whine of sirens, a dog barks and footsteps echo across the street scene.
CLARA, woman in her 20s, university student on her way to an evening internship meeting at JP Morgan. She looks down nervously at her phone. She gets an unexpected phone call, picks up, but there is just silence initially.
CLARA
Hello, h-h-hello?
VOICE
You don't know me but I know you.
You see that phone box across the street?
CLARA
(Hesitant)
Yeah, what about it?
VOICE
You don't need to know. I just need you to follow
these instructions. They will make sense with time.
CLARA
OK... go on...
VOICE
I want you to hang up on me but dial in this
code before you do - 666. Then look directly
up to the 14th floor, east window, the window
is open. I want it closed but the task is not simple.
CLARA hangs up on VOICE.
She dials two digits of the code, then hesitates on the third and final...
Battery dies - she turns around, and footsteps disappear... she continues walking to work, not yet to know her fate.
CUT TO:
SCENE III
(By Georgia & Sarah)
INT. BINGO OFFICES - MORNING.
A serene, white floor of offices, holding most employees but a few are in the meeting room while the others type away systematically, everyone dressed smartly. CLARA runs in wearing last night's club attire with make up smeared around her face. CLARA stands at the door of the meeting room for a few seconds then knocks.
CLARA
Shit
HARRY, CLARA's boss, in his 30s, and everyone in the meeting room, fairly young, turn around simultaneously, staring CLARA through the glass windows. Then HARRY gets up and gallops to the door as furiously as he can due to his prosthetic metallic leg, then opens the door.
CLARA
Hey, I'm s...
HARRY looks CLARA up and down. He sighs.
HARRY
Don't want to hear it.
HARRY then proceeds to grab CLARA's bottom, pushing her to his office.
CLARA gasps and looks confused yet amused. She was still feelings the effects of last nights drinking, then grabs his bottom in return before they get into his office.
Meeting room extras simultaneously sigh and shake their heads in disapproval, then return to their work.
HARRY
You look appalling.
CLARA
Thank you.
HARRY
That wasn't a compliment
CLARA
I know yet I am grateful.
HARRY
OK...
HARRY gives a weird look towards the camera, breaking the fourth wall.
HARRY's eyes return to CLARA.
HARRY
Are you feeling OK?
CLARA
I honestly have no idea. What am I doing with my life?
CLARA looks up at the camera with an exaggeratedly sad look, but winks.
HARRY
Who are you looking at?
CLARA
You don't want to know.
HARRY cleas his throat and shifts uncomfortably.
HARRY, in turn, looks at the camera, confused.
HARRY
Clara, you need to sort yourself out, or this...
HARRY indicates to himself and CLARA.
HARRY
...won't work. My possessions must be kept in pristine condition.
CLARA
What are you talking about? I feel and look amazing.
HARRY
You smell like shit. How much did you drink?
CLARA
Somewhere between 3 and 20 drinks...
HARRY
Unbelievable. Get on your knees.
CLARA groans, frustrated, then gets on her knees. HARRY somehow produces a sponge and polishing spray and indicates for her to polish his prosthetic leg.
CLARA
Alright, I'm not even gonna question why
the fuck I'm doing this, but please know I
have never been more confused in all my life.
CLARA polishes his leg.
HARRY
Ahh, yes. That feels better. I can see myself now.
CUT TO:
SCENE IV
(By Shannon & George)
INT. BOARDROOM - AFTERNOON
Large white room. Bit table occupying the centre of the room. Fake plastic plants in the corner. Number of chairs around the table. Numerous people in business dress. CLARA's outfit is particularly creased and messy. She is wearing a neon pink shirt under her blaser.
CLARA
It's nice to see so many of you today. I'm glad
everyone has these people to support them. I
see some new faces today.
CLARA gestures to coworkers. They exchange looks of exasperation. TESSA, in her 20s, smartly dressed, looks particularly concerned.
CLARA
So lets go around the room
and introduce ourselves.
... (Pause) ...
OK, so we're a bit shy today so I'll start.
CLARA stands.
CLARA
I'm Clara... and I've been sober for...
CLARA looks at her wrist and blinks.
CLARA
I have lost my watch.
She sits and pulls a decanter out of her bag, takes a swig and places it on the table.
CLARA
OK, who's next?
CLARA passes out on the table.
COWORKER 1
Well, at least she's asleep...
COWORKER 2
Yeah it's better than the last time. Remember she...
COWORKER 3
Never mind her, let's get on with the meeting.
First thing's first, quarterly review is coming up...
TESSA
Wait, are we seriously ignoring this?
How has she not been fired yet?
COWORKER 2
Tessa, you're new, don't make waves.
COWORKER 1
Anyway Doris - quarterly review...
COWORKER 3
Yes, so quarterly review is coming up so
make sure you look busy on paper not just visually. Also...
TESSA
I know I'm new here but in the last place I
worked at, people would get fired if they
acted like she does. Get up dear...
TESSA gets up and goes over to CLARA and shakes her.
COWORKER 2
What the hell are you doing?
TESSA
It's fine, I know how to deal with people like her.
TESSA slaps CLARA.
TESSA
Wake up!
CLARA wakes up and stands up drunkedly.
CLARA
Fuck off! I'm fine...
CLARA stumbles out of the room falling over chair as she leaves.
THE END
